Maple Engineer

In most parts of the world people don’t sit in their houses with guns fantasizing about murdering people.

Reject this American imperialist capitalist bullshit.

I write several flavours of BASIC fluently, Fortran and Pascal passably, three forms of assembler well enough to get by, and I’ve worked in COBOL.

I had a customer who wanted me to stay on as a consultant to keep their system running. He was a scumbag so I added a test to see if I had logged on in the last 60 days. If not it threw a random error code. It triggered three times before I told him that I wanted a lump sum payment and I would fix it for good and then we were done and I wanted the cheque drawn on his personal account. His controller was an even bigger scumbag than he was. He gave me the cheque and asked me what was wrong. I explained and he laughed because he was a multi-millionaire car dealer and I was a late teens computer kid and I got the better of him.

I download or capture everything I pay for. I paid for it, it’s mine.

My favorite is when you Google a problem and many, many people have the same problem but the company has never provided a solution.