My CV vs whatever the heck turned up to the office this morning.

Somebody who worked here before tried to do functional in C# by passing delegates into methods instead of injecting interfaces into constructors, across hundreds of repositories. This is why clever people should not be allowed to write code.

Technically correct, as the request processed successfully and returned the outcome. TBH this is just one reason why HTTP is a bad RPC medium; for some reason we keep reinventing SOAP even though no-one liked it the first time around.

SVN is fine for most corporate workflows. Your project is probably not anything like Linux.

You need a USB C “Power Ctrl+Z” key. Unlike the regular Ctrl+Z key one of these bad boys is capable of reversing edits across system reboots until as far back as when you originally plugged it in.

At uni I did a lot of my Java coursework in notepad, then I’d have to take it into a computer lab on a floppy, tar it and upload it to a unix terminal so it could be emailed to the professor. Java syntax with only the command line compiler is not fun.

“I store my records on vinyl. You’ve probably never heard of them.”

My delivery manager says he committed to a date. I’m a software engineer - I never commit to anything, and certainly not dates.

They forgot the bit where the Waterfall method blew through the budget and deadline about five times over.

“Never” - You keep using that word. I’m not sure it means what you think it does.

I just kind of knew that, but not sure how.

Tech moved in cycles. We come back to the same half-baked ideas every so on, imagine we just discovered the idea and then build more and more technologies on top to try to fix the foundational problems with the concept until something else shiny comes along. A lot of tech work is “there was an old lady who swallowed a fly”.

“ChatGPT, architect me a house with windows and doors”

“Your tax dollars are being stolen”

Rare moment of clarity from our global barony.

Or maybe use a better workflow where you’re not first finding issues after the work is already done?

Branching version control was definitely a “they have played us for absolute fools” moment. Especially after all our projects ended up as isolated branches on isolated microservice repositories so basically none of our code was being integrated, let alone continuously. Good for full-remote open source projects where a central admin team has to police submissions though.

Interview: “reverse this binary tree with an algorithmic efficiency of O(1)”

Job: “The marketing team would like you to indent this button by 10 pixels”

It just occurred to that in Yorkshire dialect a while loop would actually be an until loop. Directives to the rescue!

My favourite of this is when the line number is the first line of a massive multi-line statement with object initialisers and chained lambdas.

I enjoy this too, but it’s kind of rough when you’ve inverted control, teased apart unnecessary coupling, updated dependencies and backed everything with unit and other tests, but then your colleagues are too scared to code review it.