You’re hiring junior programmers for $145k a year? Americans have too much money, I swear. The rest of the world has juniors on less than a third of that if they’re in Europe.

You’d think you could have doubled down on the joke and revealed that the person on the other end of the phone wasn’t actually a person at all, it was an AI.

How the fuck can a faucet be smart? It’s a valve! It turns one way, or it turns the other way! It is only slightly less dumb than the counter top!