It’s literally just describing scrum and agile processes as if they were reporting on a cult/religion and its rituals. The bit at the end about it still being waterfall development with rituals actually got me pretty good lol

I think they’re using definition three from Merriam-Webster

The meaning of retard is to delay or impede the development or progress of; to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment

Just something to think on